The diagnosis that changed everything

This is when things changed drastically in our lives. I remember the day when we found out Kenny was sick. It was the weekend and I really don’t remember the time a year because we were inside. The front door was open, the sun was hitting the carpet, and I was sitting right next to it so I could feel the heat. Kenny was lying on the couch beside me and we were watching cartoons. Kenny tried to get up from the couch and he started crying because he couldn't get up. He said he couldn’t walk. He tried a couple of times but he could not make his legs work. I ran into the room to wake my dad because I didn’t know what else to do. Kenny was sobbing when my dad came in and picked him up, taking him to the bathroom. Kenny was crying and all he could say was his legs hurt, and he could not move them. Since mom and dad could not figure out what was wrong they took Frank and I to my aunt’s house and took Kenny to see our pediatrician. She had agreed to meet them at her office.

It seemed like forever that we were at my great aunt’s house. I did not like her house much. It was dirty, damp, and smelled like dogs. They had a Great Dane that was bigger than me. I waited, and waited playing with Frank to help out like mom and dad asked me to. After what seemed like forever mom and dad came to get us Kenny was not with them. Mom walked in with her furry tan coat which was supposed to look like fake fur, and my dad followed behind her. She looked as though she had been crying. Her make-up was a mess and her eyes were bloodshot. Even my dad looked sad and defeated. I knew then something was terribly wrong. Mom proceeded to say that Kenny was examined and the doctor decided to send Kenny to children’s hospital for more testing. After the exam and tests were done at Children’s hospital Kenny was diagnosed with leukemia. I had no idea what that meant, then my mom went on to explain to all of us that Kenny had a disease that could kill him. The first step was admitting Kenny into the hospital and the doctors had to get him into remission. I did not know what remission was and I don’t think my aunt knew either because she asked what this meant. My mom said basically it was when they could slow the growth of the cancer. It was necessary so that they could kind of control what was going on in my brother’s body and start giving him treatment. Until the doctors got Kenny into remission my mom said that Kenny would remain in the hospital. Once the doctors were in somewhat control of how the cancer was growing in my brother they said that he would have to have chemotherapy and possibly radiation. This would be the way to try to kill the cancer. My mom also said this would not be a short event. It may be years before they thought they could cure Kenny if a cure was even possible. The doctors gave Kenny only a 20% chance of survival. I just knew from that point on our lives were going to change forever, but I could not even begin to imagine the impact this was going to have. I put on a brave face but once we got home I started to cry not because I understood the levity of the situation but simply because I knew Kenny would not be there that night.

I don't remember ever being at a hospital before that time, but from that day forward I learned to live in one. At this time I think I was close to being 8 years old. The hospital wasn't a friendly place. It was always cold and uncomfortable. Uncomfortable was what our house became too. Things at home changed immediately! I quickly learned to tiptoe around the house, there was a lot of tension. I got up in the morning, went to school, and as soon as school was out someone was there to either take me home to leave me to take care of the chores, or to the hospital to see Kenny. I don’t remember how long this lasted months I think, but I do know they finally let Kenny out of the hospital after he came into remission. I said before that things were tense in the house. I thought this was just because Kenny was sick, but there was so much more.